


I'll Meet You In Your Version Of New York

by perfect_plan



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Fluff, M/M, Sci-Fi Elements, Urban Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 08:35:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4557897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfect_plan/pseuds/perfect_plan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve almost didn't look up as he crossed the Brooklyn Bridge that afternoon, so used to staring down at his own feet and being lost in his own thoughts that he could have passed the guy by entirely, but he did look up. And his life changed forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Meet You In Your Version Of New York

**Author's Note:**

  * For [asgardianette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asgardianette/gifts).



> I tried something a little different in terms of subject matter with this fic and while I'm not sure that it works entirely, I enjoyed writing it!

Steve almost didn't look up as he crossed the Brooklyn Bridge that afternoon, so used to staring down at his own feet and being lost in his own thoughts that he could have passed the guy by entirely, but he did look up. And his life changed forever.

***

He crossed the bridge every day walking to and from work and it was a cold late-October afternoon but the sky was clear and he breathed in the crisp breeze as it blew across the East River. There was a strange stillness in the air that Steve couldn't quite put his finger on but it wasn't unpleasant and he hummed softly as he strolled along.

The walkway was surprisingly sparse of people that particular afternoon and Steve looked over to the Manhattan skyline and considered taking a photo for his Instagram when he stopped abruptly.

A guy around his own age was perched halfway up the support cables, one leg dangling lazily, staring up at the sky. Steve's body flooded with panic. Was he going to jump? He looked around wildly but there were no other pedestrians in sight, not even a cyclist, and the cars on the road below didn't slow. Steve swallowed thickly. He had to do something; he couldn't just walk by and pretend he hadn't noticed. He'd never forgive himself if the guy jumped and...he didn't want to think about it. How had he even gotten way up there without anyone else noticing? Steve took a couple of careful steps forward so he was almost directly underneath him.

"Hey," Steve called, trying to make it sound like a pleasant greeting.

The guy looked down at him. "Hey," he called back. He didn't sound distressed or angry. If anything, he sounded happy.

"You okay up there?"

The guy smiled. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Steve shifted on his feet and looked around again. How was it 3:30pm on a Thursday and there was no-one else on this fucking bridge? He shielded his eyes from the late afternoon sun and looked back up. "That's not a safe place to be. You...you could fall."

The guy chuckled. "I won't fall."

Steve chewed the inside of his cheek. "Still, I'd rather you came down. How about it?"

The guy eyed him with amusement, his short brown hair blowing in the wind. "I won't fall," he said again but he started to descend and Steve carefully blew out a relieved breath. He stepped back when the guy jumped the last few feet onto the footpath. He leaned against the guard rail and looked up at the sky again. "I just wanted a better view. We don't have that where I come from." He pointed upwards.

Steve looked up but there was nothing there. Not even a cloud or a plane vapor trail. "You don't have the sky?" he asked, confused.

The guy looked at Steve and laughed. "No, we have the sky. I meant that color. We don't have it."

Steve wasn't quite sure what to think. The poor guy was obviously going through something if he'd clambered up onto the support cables - no-one just _did_ that. He needed help, that much was clear, no matter how happy he seemed.

"You...don't have blue?" Steve asked cautiously. He wanted to help, even if it was just to get the guy back to people who cared about him and might be worried.

"Blue," the guy said, as though he'd never spoken the word before in his life. "It's so beautiful."

Steve nodded in agreement. "It's my favorite color."

The guy turned to him and was about to say something else but instead peered at Steve closely and took a step towards him. Steve flinched back slightly, not meaning to but the guy was getting too close. "Your eyes are blue," he said and smiled wider.

"Uh, so are yours," Steve said. He glanced around quickly again. There were a few people starting to cross the bridge but they were too far away to offer any help.

"They are?" the guy said and he sounded surprised. "My eyes are blue here?"

This was getting a little too weird for Steve. "Do you live around here? Is there anyone I can call for you?" he asked. "I can give you money for a cab if you need it."

"I'm not from around here," the guy said carefully.

Steve pointed absently to where the guy had been sitting. "You know, you're lucky that I spotted you up there and not the police. You could have had some trouble."

The guy shrugged. "I just wanted to look at the view."

Steve frowned in concern. "Look, do you need help? People don't just sit and look at the view fifteen feet up a suspension bridge on the support cables without it...meaning something else." He wasn't sure how else to say it.

If the guy was offended by Steve's insinuation he didn't show it. He bit his lip and held out his hands. "I appreciate the concern. I do. I didn't know that going up there would be a problem and I really just wanted to sit for a while. But thank you. I'll know better next time."

Steve hoped there wouldn't be a next time. "The offer for cab money is still there if you need it."

"Thank you but I'm good." The guy held out his hand. "I'm Bucky."

Steve shook his hand. "Steve. Are you headed to Brooklyn or Manhattan?" He still wasn't entirely comfortable with leaving Bucky alone.

Bucky seemed to be thinking. "Um, neither. I'll be fine." He put his hands in his pockets but made no indication that he was going to move.

"Well, there's only one or the other," Steve chuckled. He heard a bell tinkling behind him and turned, stepping back against the rail to let a cyclist pass. "I can walk with - "

But when he turned back, Bucky was gone. Steve glanced around wildly - there was literally nowhere that he could have walked or ran to in the five seconds that Steve's back had been turned. He suddenly tasted his latte from earlier and looked over the side of the bridge but if Bucky had jumped, the passing cyclist would surely have noticed? He couldn't have scrambled back up the support cables that quickly. The traffic hadn't slowed down on the lanes below.

"What the fuck," Steve mumbled to himself. He stood on the bridge for a long time, mentally replaying everything that had happened, certain that he hadn't daydreamed or imagined any of it.

When he was finally able to start walking again, the sky was dark.

***

Over the next couple of days, Steve scanned every news website he could for any story about a missing person or a body being found in or near the East River or any traffic casualties on the bridge. It was morbid, he knew that, but he just couldn't bring himself to believe that he'd imagined that whole encounter the other day. He felt like he was losing his mind. People don't just... _disappear_ into thin air. He was distracted at work and walked with extra vigilance across the Brooklyn Bridge each morning and afternoon, as if Bucky would somehow be up on the support cables again or there would be any indication that he'd even existed at all and Steve's brain wasn't suddenly deciding to play mean tricks on him.

Three days later, Steve was walking home after a not-great day at work; the bridge was busy with pedestrians today and he stumbled along, feeling a little distracted and sorry for himself. It was the one day he hadn't been looking for Bucky and when he saw him, standing where they'd first met, Steve stopped dead in his tracks. The woman behind him slammed into his back and exclaimed with annoyance. He didn't even apologize, he was so surprised.

Bucky saw him and smiled, holding up a hand. "Hi again."

Steve stopped a few feet from him. Yeah, he was real. He hadn't imagined everything. "Hello."

"I just wanted to say thank you for the other day. If anyone else had seen me up there, it could have made things very awkward for me."

"You disappeared," Steve said.

Bucky shrugged. "I had to go. I'm sorry I left you hanging."

"But..." Steve stammered. "You just...disappeared! Into thin air!"

"Well, not quite. It's...complicated. I felt bad for leaving the way I did when you had gone out of your way to help and I wanted to come back and say thanks." Bucky folded his arms and watched him.

Steve sighed. He wasn't going to get an explanation and to be honest, he wasn't sure he wanted one. He was tired and confused but he was also relieved to see that Bucky was okay. "You're welcome," he said, trying not to block the footpath too much. "I was worried. I thought that you were trying to..." he made a vague gesture from the bridge to the road below.

Bucky looked apologetic. "I'm sorry. I really wasn't. I was kind of distracted and it was only after I left that I realized I must have scared you some."

Steve didn't really know what to make of Bucky but he thought he was being sincere. "It's okay. I'm just glad you're alright."

"Do you always go out of your way to try and help total strangers?" Bucky grinned.

"Only ones that climb up a bridge because they've never seen the color blue before," Steve said. "Where are you from anyway, the Pacific Northwest? I know it rains a lot up there but surely you get some blue skies."

Bucky smiled and chewed the inside of his cheek. "I'm not from the Pacific Northwest. And I didn't say I'd never seen a blue _sky_ before. I've never seen _blue_ before. And before you ask, no - I'm not color blind or anything."

"Yeah, I don't get that. Where the hell are you from that blue doesn't exist?" Steve still wasn't sure if Bucky was being totally serious - he seemed nice but odd - but he was going to play along. There was still a chance that Bucky needed help and he was too far into this to walk away now. Also, curiosity was getting the better of him.

Bucky rested his arms on the guard rail and looked out across the water. "Somewhere similar to this place."

Steve fiddled with the cuff of his jacket. "Boston? Chicago?"

"I was going to go and get something to drink. Can you recommend me a good coffee shop?" Bucky deflected.

Steve nodded towards Brooklyn. "I pass a couple of places on the way home." He knew this was weird but he was kind of hoping that he'd learn a bit more about Bucky and why he'd been up on the bridge that day. He had no doubt now that Bucky wasn't trying to kill himself but something still didn't sit right with Steve. He knew that Sam would have huffed out in annoyance and made a quip about taking home every stray he came across but Steve liked helping people.

Bucky smiled. "Cool."

***

They found a small café and Bucky insisted they sit by the window, looking out with interest. Steve watched him as he sipped his own drink.

"Do you have any family in New York?" Steve asked.

Bucky shook his head and rested his chin in his hand, still watching the street and the people passing by. "No."

"Friends?"

"Uh-uh."

"Are you on vacation?"

"Um, sort of."

"Where are you staying?"

"Wherever I end up." Bucky took a mouthful of his hot chocolate. "Oh my god, this is incredible."

Steve fidgeted in his seat. He was starting to not like Bucky's cryptic answers and changes of conversation. "Let me guess: You don't have chocolate where you come from."

Bucky smirked. "We have it." He looked out of the window again and pointed. "We don't have those though; first time one ran up to me I nearly shit myself."

Steve followed his finger. "You don't have dogs," he said slowly.

Bucky smiled and it was amazed and perplexed as he watched a Labrador pull it's owner along happily. "There are so many of them."

Steve rested his hands on the table. "Right. You don't have dogs and you don't have blue. Okay." Why was Bucky keeping this up?

Bucky looked up at him, sensing Steve's annoyance. "You're mad."

Steve shifted in his seat. "I kind of feel like I'm being made fun of."

"I'm not making fun of you," Bucky said quietly. "It's just that...this version of New York is so different and you're the first person who's ever even spoken to me when I've - "

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Steve could feel his face heat up when a couple of people in the café reacted to his raised voice. "You know," he said, keeping his tone low, "I was only trying to help you that day on the bridge. I looked up and thought you were going to commit suicide and...and you're making me feel like an idiot for just trying to be a decent person." Steve should have just accepted Bucky's apology back on the bridge and gone home. He frowned as something else occurred to him. "Oh my god, are you a con man? Do you do that whole bridge shtick to sucker in idiots like me and then do...whatever this is?"

Bucky floundered. "No! No, I'm not - "

Steve laughed but there was no humor in it. "I'm such a moron." He stood up and grabbed his bag and threw ten dollars onto the table. "Here. You got this out of me at least. Enjoy your drink"

"Steve, wait - "

But the door cut off anything else Bucky was going to say.

***

Steve was angry and sore at himself for the next five days. This happened a lot - he went out of his way for people and then got shit on in return. It happened with people he thought were his friends, it happened with his job and then it happened with some random stranger. But he never learned. Steve kept to himself for the next week. He caught the train to work instead of walking. He knew he was being childish but if he was going to wallow, he was going to _wallow_. It hurt when all he wanted to be was a good person and other people took advantage of that.

He finished work late on Friday and yowled in frustration when he saw that his train wasn't running due to line closures. He stomped across the Brooklyn Bridge and back to his apartment and was ready to just sleep for the entire weekend. He ate some dinner and then had a shower and slumped on the couch in front of Netflix in his pyjamas.

At 9:30pm, there was a soft knock at his front door. Steve frowned and looked at the time on his phone; he had no idea who could be here this late. He didn't have plans with Sam this weekend. It was probably the pizza delivery guy calling on the wrong apartment so Steve didn't even bother to look through the peephole before he opened the door, ready to tell the pizza guy _again_ that Peter Quill lived next door.

Bucky was standing outside of his apartment. "Before you get all freaked out, can you please just lis - "

"What the fuck are you doing here?! Have you been following me?" Steve was livid.

Bucky held up his hands. "Look, I know you must think I'm crazy - "

Steve squawked out a terrified laugh. "Oh, I think we've gone beyond crazy. We've...we've entered stalking territory. We're well on our way to _calling the police_ territory."

Bucky looked crestfallen. "Please don't do that. Just give me five minutes to explain everything to you, that's all I'm asking. I was never making fun of you and I wasn't trying to con you. But if I tell you the truth...about myself...it's..." Bucky stumbled. "I'm taking a big chance coming here. I could have just left and not looked back."

"So why didn't you?" Steve said. "Watching me for nearly a week and then following me to my home was much more fun?" His anger slipped into hurt and Bucky was about to say something else when the door to the next apartment opened, 70s music flooding into the hallway. Steve was relieved to see Peter; they weren't really good friends or anything but they always kept an eye on each other's apartments if one of them was away.

"Everything okay, Steve?" Peter was holding a bottle of beer and watching Bucky with a squint. He leaned against his door frame; he was taller and a lot more built than both of them and he was making sure that Bucky knew it. "You need me to call someone?"

Bucky sagged and turned to Steve and he looked so dejected and crushed that the part of Steve that always gave people the benefit of the doubt, against his better judgement, finally came through. He knew he would regret this.

"No, it's okay. Bucky won't be staying long." Steve moved aside and Bucky flashed him a grateful look as he stepped into Steve's apartment. "Thanks, Peter."

Peter nodded. "No problem. You know where I am." He went back inside, giving Bucky one last glare before he did, and Steve closed his door.

He folded his arms and watched as Bucky scratched his head and looked at Steve nervously from the middle of his living room. "You've got _three_ minutes."

Bucky nodded. "Okay. Well..." He opened his mouth and frowned as he tried to think of what to say.

"You're going to have to make up something quicker than that," Steve said.

Bucky took a deep breath. "I'm from a parallel reality."

Steve stared at him for a few seconds. "What?"

"I'm not from this reality."

Steve pointed to the front door. "Get out."

Bucky held up his hands. "I know, I know. It sounds crazy but just hear me out - "

"I said get out! Now! Get out of my apartment!"

Bucky mewled. "Please don't shout. Steve, I swear it's the truth..."

Steve started to back up towards the front door. "I'm getting Peter and he's going to kick your ass."

"Just look! Look!" Bucky stepped to the side and...he was gone.

Steve froze. "Bucky?" He blinked at his living room. Bucky was definitely not there anymore. Steve had just watched him disappear. Like _really_ disappear. It was as though Bucky had stepped behind a bookcase that wasn't there.

Steve took a few hesitant steps forward. "This is...this can't be real..." he muttered to himself, still unable to believe that this was anything but some kind of scam or crazy David Blaine shit. He started to feel in front of him, swiping the air that Bucky had occupied a moment earlier. His brain still hadn't properly processed everything when there was a hand on his shoulder.

"Steve - "

Steve screamed and turned around, stumbling back and tripping over his own feet. He fell down hard and winced in pain as he smacked his head on the edge of the coffee table.

Bucky was standing over him, eyes wide and concerned. "Oh my god, are you okay?"

Steve grabbed the back of his head, his shock counteracting the pain for the time being. "How...how did you do that?"

"It's a thing I can do. Look, you're hurt..." he started to crouch down.

Steve shook his head and held out a hand. "No, please stay there."

"I'm not going to hurt you," Bucky said and took a step away from Steve. He looked slightly offended. "I've never shown anyone that before."

Steve didn't know what the hell to think. He knew what he'd seen with his own eyes, that much was certain, but his head was swimming with confusion and fear and he could feel the dull throb of hitting it on the table start to pulse. "Do it again."

Bucky's face softened a little. He nodded and stepped to the side and he was gone again. Ten seconds passed and then he kind of...stepped back into view. It was weird - like he was hiding behind a curtain or something except there wasn't a curtain and what he had done should technically be impossible. Steve breathed through his nose for a minute or two.

"You're telling me the truth?" he finally asked.

"Yes," Bucky said softly.

"How is this possible?"

Bucky put his hands on his hips. "That's a little harder to explain. But I can tell you if you want to know."

Steve hadn't led a very exciting life so far. He had gone to school, gone to a decent college and was now in a job he didn't really care about. He loved his mom and spoke to her every other day on the phone and visited her every other weekend. He had a few close friends. He'd had two relationships in his life which also happened to be the number of people he'd slept with. He enjoyed books and movies and had always been a bit of a daydreamer. But this...this was something else entirely. He didn't think this was something he could walk away from now even if he wanted to. Things like this didn't just happen. They certainly didn't happen to him.

"I think I'm going to need something to drink," he finally said and took Bucky's hand when he offered to help Steve up.

***

"The first time I did it, I was eleven," Bucky said. They were sitting on Steve's couch at opposite ends, both with a tumbler of Southern Comfort and Steve with a pack of frozen spinach pressed to the back of his head. He didn't have any peas and both of his ice-cube trays had been empty.

Steve watched Bucky closely. He was staring down into his drink, his expression thoughtful. "I was playing outside, just goofing around and then all of a sudden I was somewhere else. A lot of the realities I've hopped to are similar in a way - I mean, as in they're all versions of New York - but this one, it was full of giant spiders. These things were _huge_ , just climbing all over the buildings, spider webs everywhere and I'd just stepped right in there. I was fucking terrified - I had no idea what had just happened." Bucky took a big gulp of his drink, coughing slightly as he did. "Anyway, I panicked and ran and then I was back home again, pretty much where I'd been playing before. It shit me up though. I was in therapy for a while after that. My parents thought I'd totally cracked."

"And then what?" Steve asked. He was still wary but he didn't think Bucky was lying.

"Not much," Bucky said with a grin. "I couldn't figure out how I'd done what I'd done. I knew I hadn't been dreaming or any of the other shit my parents and therapist thought had happened. It had been real as anything to me. So I just went along with it, all the while trying to do it again but...nothing. As I got older, I started to think about it less and less. Then about a month ago, it happened again. I was just walking along and went to step around this pile of garbage in the street and I was here. In your reality. For some reason this time, I could go back and forth easily." He shrugged and looked up at Steve.

"So this version of New York was the first you'd visited since the Spider Version?"

Bucky chuckled a little. "Yeah. It was kind of a shock. Mainly because of the sky. I said we didn't have blue back home and seeing that just everywhere was..." He met Steve's eyes again, no doubt looking at the color in them. "You have no idea."

Steve took a mouthful of his own drink and fiddled with the bag of spinach again. He couldn't deny that Bucky was a good-looking guy, with eyes as blue as his own and rich brown hair. He couldn't help the slight thrill that ran through him. People didn't really look at him the way Bucky was now.

"What happens when you just step out of thin air? Don't people...well, react?"

"Not really. At first I thought people and things in other realities couldn't see me because no-one would bat an eyelid when I just turned up. You were the only person that ever seemed to see me and I guess it was because I did something stupid like climb up somewhere I shouldn't have."

Steve frowned. "So...how can you control where you're going? I mean, what's to say you won't appear in the middle of a volcano or something?"

"I don't know. It feels like...it feels like that wouldn't be able to happen. I don't think my ability would allow anything like that to happen to me." He grinned when he saw the look on Steve's face. "I know - that's not much of an explanation. It's like...I can _feel_ where I'm going when I side-step? Like you wouldn't consciously walk into a giant hole in the street. You would step around it, right? "

Steve nodded. "Sure."

Bucky shrugged again. "That's all I can think that it feels like."

Steve readjusted the bag of spinach. "So how do you move between realities?"

Bucky glanced around the living room and then spotted Steve's copy of Heart-Shaped Box on the coffee table. He picked it up and pulled out Steve's bookmark. "I'm this bookmark." He opened the book and placed the bookmark inside the front cover. "This is where I'm from. My reality." He flipped the pages with his thumb. "These are all the other realities that exist. I just kind of slip between the pages." He placed the bookmark at some random page. "When I've visited a reality once, I know how to get back. Kind of like a mental bookmark." He showed Steve the spine of the book. "All of the different realities are connected - by a giant cosmic spine or something, I don't know - so there's no way I can get stuck or lost."

"But...what if you alter something in another reality? Wouldn't that effect all of them?"

Bucky sat back on the couch. "Hasn't happened so far but I haven't stayed in any one reality long enough to see if it would."

"Have you seen other versions of yourself?"

Bucky's face clouded over slightly and he shook his head. "No and I don't want to. I don't actively look and I'm not entirely sure what would happen if I...met myself. Better not to know."

Steve wanted to ask him so many more questions but his head was starting to hurt again, probably from the booze and well, everything else. The guy currently sat on his couch could move between realities. That was big enough but Steve's brain was still trying to process the fact that _there were parallel realities_.

"This sounds really good," Bucky said, reading the back of Steve's book. "We don't have Joe Hill."

"You don't? Do you have Stephen King?"

Bucky shook his head. "No. Is he a big deal?"

Steve laughed. "Kind of. To me, anyway. You can borrow that if you want; I was re-reading it. I don't think I like the idea of a reality without Joe Hill. Oh, can you take stuff with you?"

"I think so. Small things that I'm carrying. I mean, I have stuff in my pockets and it's never effected anything when I side-step. I couldn't take another person with me though. Not unless they had the same ability."

Steve pulled his legs up onto the couch. "Do other people in your reality have abilities like yours?" He immediately thought about some of his favorite superheroes and got a little excited.

"Nope. Just me. I found out pretty quick that asking every person I met if they could move between alternate universes meant more trips to the doctor's office and more worried looks from my parents." He smiled sadly. "Made for a pretty lonely childhood."

Steve felt a pang of sympathy for Bucky then. "I can relate. I didn't have many friends growing up. Got bullied a lot."

Bucky looked at him and raised his glass. "It's nice to know that people are dicks across multiple realities. I knew there was a unifying force in everything."

Steve chuckled and they fell into an awkward silence. After a few minutes, Steve put the now mostly defrosted bag of spinach on the coffee table. "So what now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm sitting here in my crummy little apartment with a guy who can _do_ what is only theorised in this universe. This is like _really_ big. What am I meant to do with this?"

Bucky jerked forward and frowned; there was suddenly fear in his eyes. "You can't say anything to anybody, Steve. I'm trusting you with this."

Steve held up his hands. "I'm not going to tell anybody and besides, if I did you could just leave and I'd be the one sent to therapy. I just meant now that you're here, what next?"

Bucky slumped a little. "I don't know. It's...nice to just _talk_ to someone about this, you know? I don't have anyone back home - my parents both died a few years back. I've been to a lot of realities and I've never reached out to anyone else in them. I wasn't even sure that I could." He swallowed thickly and his hands tightened around his glass as he stared into it. "I guess I just wanted someone to finally notice me. I...I need a friend."

The abject loneliness in Bucky's voice hit Steve hard and everything he'd been feeling that evening - anger, fear, shock, amazement, confusion, disbelief, acceptance - boiled down to one thing: Understanding. Bucky could do something unbelievable that defied everything Steve knew about the world and was something he had fantasised about himself a few times; he was a nerd, he could admit that. But despite his ability, at the core of all of that, Bucky was a person with a life, with hopes and dreams of his own and no-one to share it with. Just like himself.

Steve shifted on the couch clearing his throat and Bucky glanced up at him, his eyes nervous and full of anticipation. "I'm pretty sure Peter would totally be down with what you can do. He loves this shit. And he's kind of nuts - I saw him fight a raccoon once for a slice of pizza on the fire escape. It was amazing."

Bucky laughed and Steve could see how relieved he was that Steve wasn't ready to reject him after everything. "I don't think he likes me very much." He put his glass down on the table. "I'd better head off. Um, thanks for giving me a chance." He stood up and walked into the middle of the living room. "Can I...can I come back? To see you?"

Steve got up and stood a few feet away from Bucky. "I'd like that. I really would."

Bucky grinned at him and he was just a guy who was happy to have a friend. "Cool."

"How about tomorrow for lunch? Would you like, just appear right there?" He pointed to where Bucky was standing.

Bucky shook his head. "Nah, I'd feel weird about just coming into your apartment without your permission, even though I could. Let's meet on the bridge. 12pm?"

"I'll be there," Steve said and found that he was already looking forward to it.

Bucky held up a hand and was about to side-step when Steve blurted out, "Bucky, wait."

Bucky turned around. "Yeah, Steve?"

Steve rubbed his arm self-consciously. "Why me?"

Bucky chewed his lip and thought for a moment. "You have nice eyes." He smiled and stepped to the side and was gone.

***

Steve had pretty much fallen asleep as soon as Bucky had left, barely making it to his bed, the evening's events having exhausted him. When he awoke on Saturday morning, he lay in bed for an hour and a half, the events of the last week replaying over and over again in his mind. He was surprised that he wasn't totally freaking out about everything. But then hadn't he fantasized countless times that something like this might happen to him? He'd read hundreds of books, watched hundreds of movies where things like this happened to the main character; fantastical things that changed their lives forever. He was finally getting that something for himself.

And all he could think about was how cute Bucky was.

***

It was freezing as Steve headed across the Brooklyn Bridge; his head was still a little sore from last night and he had a hell of a bump but he didn't care. He was bundled in his winter jacket and his blue scarf (he may or may not have deliberately dressed in as much blue as he could) and he wondered briefly if Bucky would actually be here. Part of him was still holding out that this was all some big joke at his expense, that some obnoxious TV host would suddenly pop out of nowhere with a camera crew and proclaim Steve the biggest moron to ever have existed for falling for this.

He caught sight of Bucky up ahead on the walkway. He was watching the Manhattan skyline and Steve knew this wasn't a joke. He was looking at the sky the way Steve thought he must have looked when he went whale watching with his mom for the first time in Boston when he was twelve and a huge humpback had fully breached the water.

Steve sidled up to him. "So what color is the sky in your version of New York?"

Bucky started and turned, smiling with relief when he saw it was Steve. His eyes flitted to Steve's scarf and then back to the view. "Grey. I never found it depressing until I came here but how can anything compare to that?" He made a vague hand gesture upwards. "Words can't describe how I feel when I see it."

Steve smiled. "All the best things are usually indescribable."

Bucky gave Steve a curious look that made his heart beat a little quicker. "You seem awfully calm about...everything."

Steve shrugged and leaned against the walkway wall. "I think I could use a little weird in my life right now."

Bucky smiled wider. "Good. So, lunch? I'll let you lead. This is your New York."

They wandered back into Brooklyn and went to a sandwich place that Steve liked. They ate in silence and Steve noticed that Bucky had been less inclined to look around at things once they were off of the bridge, mainly watching him while they spoke or staring at the ground as they walked.

"So when you go to different realities, do you go anywhere else? Different cities or countries?" Steve asked, keeping his voice low enough so their conversation wouldn't be overheard.

Bucky shook his head. "Not really. I would still need money to travel and I can only move through the immediate space I inhabit. I can't just side-step and appear in Japan or England; I'd be in this exact spot in whatever reality I ended up in."

"But you've never been curious to explore? To see what the other worlds are like?"

Bucky put down his sandwich. "No. I've only ever really walked a small area of any of the New Yorks I go to. I still don't fully understand the mechanics of what I can do and I'm a little scared to go beyond certain boundaries. I've never made it very far."

Steve nodded, not wanting to push. "That makes sense, I guess. I don't think I could help myself if I could do what you can though. I'd want to see how different everything is."

"I did at first too but you...you kind of start to not enjoy all the smaller differences after a while."

"Why not?" Steve asked.

"Because you start to resent what you can't have and it's pretty heartbreaking," Bucky answered, his voice sad and low.

Steve didn't want to make Bucky feel bad with his questions so he stopped asking them. He hadn't thought about just how lonely what Bucky could do really was. His own mind was full of all of the positive aspects he could think of from a geeky point of view: The Multiverse theory, the vast possibilities that jumping between realities could bring. But then there was Bucky's reality of his ability: Not belonging in any one place anymore, realizing that things were better or far worse elsewhere, knowing _too much_ even. How could anyone handle the knowledge that Bucky had about what was essentially one of the many secrets of the universe and not go crazy with it?

Steve took a sip of his green tea. "I thought we could go back to my place and just hang out, if you wanted to." He needed a little weird in his life but maybe Bucky needed something a little more normal.

Bucky glanced up at him and the smile on his face was...radiant. "That would be great."

***

Over the next few weeks, Bucky came to hang out at Steve's apartment almost every day. They would meet on the Brooklyn Bridge after Steve had finished work and then eat dinner together and watch TV. Bucky developed a weird fixation with infomercials and wanted to watch those more than the untold number of TV shows and movies that he didn't have in his own reality. Steve was endlessly amused by Bucky's reaction and enjoyment to them though and indulged him. They played cards and listened to music and laughed into the early hours. Bucky became obsessed with Joe Hill and read his books over and over, curled up on Steve's couch.

After a while, Steve almost forgot that Bucky wasn't from his Earth. He was just an insanely likable guy with brown hair that never looked neat and bright blue eyes that were always full of wonder. He seemed to enjoy Steve's company too; teasing him endlessly about his slightly old-fashioned hairstyle and his clothes but never with bad humor. He liked to make Steve laugh, telling him stupid jokes and doing weird little dances until Steve had tears rolling down his cheeks and had to beg him to stop. Bucky always did but would flop on the couch next to Steve and laugh with him all over again.

Of course, when Bucky left every night Steve had to remember that he didn't really belong here. They would both step into the middle of the living room and say goodbye before Bucky side-stepped and vanished. It never ceased to amaze Steve - it was like magic. The air always seemed to shift a little as he moved from Steve's reality to his own; a subtle change that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

Bucky was still hesitant to know too much about Steve's reality though, choosing to stay within Brooklyn for the most part and he never wanted to watch the news.

"I think the less I know the better," he said one afternoon when he had hastily turned off the TV during a newsbreak. "I'm not really meant to be here and I don't know...maybe it's better that I know as little as possible about how your world works."

 _Your world_. That had kind of brought Steve back from the happy little bubble he had been living in for the last few weeks. Bucky didn't belong here and he really didn't want to face _that_ particular reality. Bucky had become his friend and time without him here felt like time wasted.

One evening, they were sitting on the couch playing rummy. Steve enjoyed these times hanging out with Bucky - playing a simple card game and talking because it was just that: Simple. Steve had very few friends and although he loved them and enjoyed their company, he preferred spending time with people one-on-one than in large groups. He felt more like himself and had more to give that way.

"Can I ask you an alternate reality question?" Steve asked as he was deciding whether or not to lose his Queen Of Hearts and trade it for the Four Of Clubs.

Bucky was frowning down at his own hand and eyeing Steve's now-discarded Queen. "Sure."

"Where's your favorite place?" Steve asked. "Out of all the realities you've been to, which is the one you like the most?"

Bucky looked up at him, a little smile on his lips. "You mean besides this one?" The way he said it set the butterflies in Steve's stomach fluttering to get out.

Bucky seemed to be thinking. He put his cards down and shifted so he was facing Steve fully. "I stepped into this one reality a while back, when I first started to move around and it was the most _miserable_ place I'd ever seen. Just scrubby old marshes and these rank, stinky pools as far as you could see, just stretching on forever. The sky was brown and gross and the mud was this scummy grey color. I don't know what the hell kind of New York it was but curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know what could possibly live in a shit-hole like it so I started walking."

Steve put down his cards and watched Bucky talk, listening raptly.

"I walked for hours. Some of the pools were really shallow and others were deeper but none of them ever reached above my thighs. I don't know why I didn't just leave; there was nothing there. Even the plants looked miserable." He chuffed out a laugh. "Anyway, it was starting to get dark and I was cold and wondering why I'd wasted my time, standing up to my shins in this one big pool and something started to glow in the water. I nearly crapped myself. It was like this huge eel but...see through? It was glowing and I could see inside it and there were these pulsing lights as it moved. I don't know how to explain it..."

Steve thought about the documentary he had watched a while ago about deep sea creatures that were bioluminescent. "I think I know what you mean," he said.

Bucky nodded. "It just swam around my legs." He looked far away as he remembered. "And then more started to emerge - creatures that were _glowing_ in the water and then other ones started to appear in the air, just drifting like dandelion seeds and the darker it got, the more there were and it was just...amazing. There were thousands of them. They didn't care that I was there and I just watched. I couldn't believe it - like ten minutes ago it had been the most depressing place I'd ever seen and then it was just...beautiful."

"Wow," Steve said softly.

"I started to wander around. It was so _bright_ with all of these creatures everywhere and none of them wanted to hurt me. I couldn't get enough - the longer I walked, the more there were until my eyes were hurting from the brightness. There were so many different kinds and it was so peaceful. It was like being in a dream."

Steve wished he could tell Bucky that spending time with him was like being in a dream.

"That's been one of my favorite realities," Bucky said quietly. "I wish I could show you."

"It's sounds amazing," Steve said and rested his head on the back of the couch. "You're lucky that you can do what you can do."

Bucky smirked. "It's not always the most convenient of abilities. When I finally side-stepped, I was in New Jersey. I didn't realize I'd walked that far."

Steve laughed. "New York to New Jersey? That's pretty impressive."

"It was a bitch to try and get back home. But it was worth it."

They were about to start another hand of their card game when there was a flash of lightning outside of the window. They both looked up as a bright purple fork snaked across the darkened sky.

"Wow, what the fuck was that?" Steve said and scrambled off of the couch. "You saw that, right?"

Bucky joined him at the window. "Yeah..."

The night sky was clear and there was no rain. They waited but no thunder followed the flash. Everything looked a little purple still.

"That was really strange," Steve said and opened the window to lean out. The air smelled strongly of ozone.

Bucky didn't say anything but a crease of worry appeared between his eyes.

***

There was one thing that Steve had been wanting to ask Bucky about for a while but he was too afraid. Multiple realities surely meant...multiple Steve Rogers. In each of the New Yorks Bucky visited, there must be another version of _him_ there too. The thought of different versions of himself intrigued and terrified him; there must be _countless_ Steve Rogers out there. How many of them got everything right and how many got everything wrong? He wasn't sure if he'd gotten much right or wrong so far; he hadn't been completely happy but then...Bucky had come into his life. Steve didn't want to ask because what if there was a _better_ version of him in another reality that Bucky would want to hang out with more? He wasn't sure he could handle that, not now.

So he never asked.

***

"That's impossible. No-one can do that," Bucky said with a snort.

"I can," Steve said. "I totally can."

"How do you even think to try and do something like that?"

Steve pulled the bag of cherries they had been sharing in his kitchen over to himself again and ate another one, keeping the stalk between his fingers. "I'm assuming you don't have Twin Peaks back home?"

Bucky looked confused. "What's that?"

"Okay, so Twin Peaks was this really weird TV show that aired back in the early 90s. It was strange and awesome and would take too long to explain but there was this amazing character called Audrey Horne. Anyway, at one point in the series, Audrey has to try and infiltrate a brothel and uses _this_ as her trick to convince them to hire her."

Bucky watched as Steve put the cherry stem into his mouth and folded his arms. They had been trying to impress each other with weird party tricks (Bucky could juggle five oranges effortlessly) and Steve only had one that seemed to be a hit with his friends when he was brave enough to actually show them. He worked the stalk in his mouth for a moment and then smiled and stuck his tongue out. The cherry stem was tied into a neat little knot.

Bucky leaned forward and stared in disbelief. "What the...that's insane. Steve, that's insane!"

Steve laughed and spat out the stalk. "It's the one impressive thing I can do."

Bucky laughed in delight and stared down at the knotted stalk. "I just...how do you even...gimme a cherry. I need to try this right now."

Bucky spent the better part of an hour trying to do the cherry trick, howling in frustration as Steve tied knot after knot and laughed as Bucky burped cherry-tasting burps but refused to give up. Steve thought that this was the best time he'd ever spent with anyone. Bucky's lips were slightly red from the cherries and he giggled and said he felt a little queasy and Steve was suddenly overwhelmingly happy and simultaneously sad.

Because he knew he was falling in love with Bucky Barnes and Bucky didn't belong here with him.

***

Later that evening they were both sitting on the couch watching Amazing Discoveries, laughed out and sipping sparkling water to help with their cherry induced tummy aches. Bucky's arm was brushing Steve's and everything felt right. Steve turned to look at him and smiled. Bucky smiled back.

 _I should lean across and kiss him_ , Steve thought to himself and was working up the courage to just do it.

Steve's living room light flickered slightly and outside, another purple fork of lightning cut across the sky. They both turned to look and Steve was about to say something when there was a huge clap of thunder, so loud that they both jumped and Bucky instinctively grabbed Steve's arm.

"What the - " Steve started but then a tremor ran through the whole building. Something fell over and smashed in the kitchen and several of Steve's books tumbled off of his book case. He held Bucky back, suddenly forgetting everything he knew about what to do when there was an earthquake but then the tremor was over and the two of them sat in stunned silence, clinging to each other and watched as the living room light flickered a few more times and then settled.

"Holy shit," Steve mumbled, not even trying to hide the disquiet in his voice. He looked up at Bucky; his face was ashen and he was swallowing hard.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked, worried.

Bucky nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Just...scared me a little is all."

Steve squeezed his arm and managed a little laugh. "Me too."

Bucky smiled at him but there was something off about it and he was unusually quiet for the rest of the evening.

***

Things were getting strange. The lightning storms started to become more frequent and no-one could explain it. Meteorologists put it down to some subtle atmospheric weather front that was "passing through" but even they didn't seem all that convinced. The tremors they put down to "unprecedented seismic activity." Steve followed the news about the storms with interest but Bucky seemed withdrawn and his face settled into a troubled frown whenever it was mentioned.

Steve never thought to put two and two together.

***

They were playing a game of Spit the evening the worst tremor hit. When it was over, they were still crouched in Steve's kitchen doorway, clutching the frame and listening to car alarms wail and fire trucks race through the city. Bucky finally stood up on unsteady legs and raked both hands through his hair as he paced on the rug. Steve got to his feet and surveyed the damaged to his apartment; a lot of stuff had broken this time, mainly in the kitchen but a bookcase had fallen and jammed against the alcove, spilling all of it's contents on the floor in the living room.

Steve walked over and started to tidy up, not quite sure what to think about everything. Whatever was happening with the weather and the earthquakes wasn't normal. He didn't want Bucky to see how scared he really felt though.

"I have to go away for a little while," Bucky said suddenly.

Steve had been stacking the fallen books and his hands stilled. "What do you mean?"

Bucky glanced out of the window and Steve could see how frightened he was. "I just...I need to go home. There's some stuff I need to do."

"How...how long for?" Steve asked, already hating how needy his voice sounded.

Bucky wouldn't meet his eyes and stared at the floor. "A week. Maybe two."

Steve nodded. "Okay," he said quietly.

Bucky walked over and put his hand on Steve's shoulder. It was trembling slightly but when he looked up, Bucky was trying to smile. "I'll come back. I need to figure a few things out. It's not you, Steve."

Steve tried to smile back. "I just like having you around. You're kind of neat."

Bucky's smile was shy and genuine and he blushed a little. "I think you're kind of neat too." He squeezed Steve's shoulder.

The living room light started to flicker again and the smile slipped from Bucky's face. He took a few steps back, looking longingly at Steve as he did. "I won't say goodbye."

Steve's eyes felt hot. "Please come back."

"I will. I promise."

And then he was gone.

***

The next couple of weeks were wretched. Steve couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so lost or down. He missed Bucky. He tried to get on with his life; Bucky had promised that he would come back and Steve held onto that as hard as he could. Every time he crossed the Brooklyn Bridge he slowed and hoped that he would see Bucky up ahead, staring out at the sky. The weather had grown colder though and there wasn't a lot of blue; just heavy grey clouds that constantly threatened rain.

There hadn't been any more strange lightning storms or tremors and Steve wouldn't let himself believe that there was a connection between them and Bucky but deep down, he knew that there was.

Sam, who Steve hadn't seen much of in the last month or so, knew something was wrong when they met for lunch one dull afternoon. The wind was biting and the color appeared to have been leached out of everything; the city seemed to be reflecting what Steve was feeling.

"So, are you going to tell me about him?" Sam eyed Steve as he took a bite of his burger.

"Who?" Steve asked miserably. There wasn't much that got by Sam. He had an annoying habit for being scarily perceptive.

"The guy who's got you all mopey. You've been seeing someone, right?"

Steve sighed heavily. "Sort of."

Sam put down his half-burger and flicked a fry in Steve's direction. "You don't have to talk about him but I'm guessing things didn't work out?"

"It's...it's complicated," Steve said. There was literally no way he could talk to Sam about this.

"What, is he married? Is he a closeted politician?"

Steve snorted out a humorless laugh. "No..."

"Then what?"

"He...he lives kind of far away." Steve picked up one of Sam's fries and chewed on it.

Sam laughed. "Is that all?"

Steve wished it was.

***

A few nights later, Steve was reading in bed. It was nearly midnight; he wasn't tired and he couldn't concentrate on anything. It had been almost three weeks since Bucky had left and Steve was starting to get worried. What if he didn't come back? What if something had happened to him in another reality? What if he never saw Bucky again? He put down his book and rubbed his forehead. He didn't want to believe that. He had to see him again, if only to tell him -

He heard something in the living room - a thump and a creaking of floorboards. Steve's heart started to hammer in his chest and he jumped out of bed and ran from his room and down the hall, hoping beyond hope that his living room wouldn't be empty.

Bucky was standing in the middle of the rug and Steve couldn't contain his joy. He threw his arms around him and laughed. Bucky laughed softly and hugged Steve back tightly, his face nestled in Steve's neck.

"Hey," he said quietly and his voice sounded wet. Steve pulled back and Bucky was smiling at him but his eyes were red-rimmed.

"I missed you," Steve said and he didn't care anymore; he wanted Bucky to know how he felt.

"I missed you too," Bucky replied but there was a quaver in his voice that Steve didn't like.

"What is it?" he asked but he already knew the answer.

Bucky let go of Steve and walked away a few steps, wrapping his arms around himself. "The lightning storms and earthquakes. They stopped, right? After I left?"

Steve felt like something was trying to crush his heart. "That doesn't mean anything - "

"They stopped, didn't they?" Bucky said again, his voice hard.

Steve swallowed. "You knew they would."

Bucky nodded. "It's because of me. I...don't belong here and things will get worse if I keep coming back."

"You don't know that for sure - "

"Steve, it's me! I'm effecting things by coming here. Something isn't right. The...the threads that hold everything together...the spine connecting all of the different realities or whatever it is...they don't like me being here. Things are coming apart. I can't risk that I could cause permanent damage to your world or the countless others out there by staying where I don't belong. I would never forgive myself if something terrible happened to you and it was my fault."

Steve could feel the tears start to come. "But you don't know that for sure..."

Bucky bit down on his lip. "I can't take that chance," he said. "There's too much at stake. This is bigger than both of us. I don't know enough about my ability and what I can do...for all I know, there's another me in this reality and something bad is happening to him by my spending so much time here and who knows what kind of chain reaction that could be starting."

Steve grabbed Bucky's hands. "I'm falling in love with you. Please don't go."

Bucky's breath hitched and he started to cry. "I'm falling in love with you, too." He pressed his forehead to Steve's. "That's why I have to go. I need you to be safe."

Steve shook his head. "But...what if you go somewhere else and there's a better version of me there and you fall in love with him and everything's fine?" he babbled, the thing he'd been fearing spilling out.

Bucky laughed softly through his tears. "You're the only version of you I care about, Steve Rogers. I wouldn't want to find the others."

The light started to flicker and they both looked up. Steve felt sick.

"I'm going to come back," Bucky said, talking fast and holding Steve's face in his hands, his blue eyes frantic. "I'll figure things out. I'll find a way and I'll come back. I'm not losing you." He wiped the tears from Steve's cheeks. "My name is James Buchanan Barnes and I'll do whatever it takes to be with you."

Before Steve could say anything, Bucky pulled him into a kiss. Steve kissed him back, wanting to hang on for as long as he could, Bucky's lips soft against his. A low tremor rumbled through the building and Steve made a helpless noise.

Bucky pulled away and stepped back, wiping his eyes. "I won't say goodbye."

"Bucky, please! Don't - "

But before Steve could finish, Bucky stepped to the side and disappeared. Steve lunged forward but it was too late. He looked helplessly at the space where Bucky had been standing and his heart broke.

***

Steve searched for six months to try and find the James Buchanan Barnes in his own reality, curiosity and desperation getting the better of him but he couldn't find him. There was no sign that such a person existed or had ever existed, in New York or anywhere else. Steve didn't know how that was possible; surely there was a version of James Barnes here? There had to be. But the more he looked, the more confused he became. He just didn't exist in this reality. In Steve's reality. Even if he did, Steve wasn't sure he wanted to find him.

He wouldn't be Bucky.

***

It took a year before Steve finally stopped looking for Bucky on the Brooklyn Bridge or waited in his apartment for the air to shift and for Bucky to step back into his life. It just hurt too much to hope every day and then have his heart crumble piece by piece when he wasn't there. He felt like an empty shell. He never thought it could feel this bad to have had something so amazing in his life and then have it taken away.

Sometimes Steve questioned if Bucky had even been real, that maybe he had just been a dream after all but then he would remember the way Bucky laughed or his blue eyes, bright and honest and he knew it had all been real. Steve had to keep hoping that Bucky would come back. He had promised that he would come back.

But the more time that passed, the less Steve thought that it was a promise that could be kept.

***

"You'll be better off financially if you move. That place isn't worth the money you're paying for it." Sam was trying to convince Steve to move in with him again. It was a discussion they had often that always ended in the same way.

"I like my place," Steve said as he browsed through the horror section of the bookstore. "Peter's a great neighbor and it's convenient for work and I like my own space." His stomach dropped slightly when he saw that there was a new Joe Hill book and he walked by it quickly; he didn't read Joe Hill anymore. He knew he was kidding himself about his apartment; Peter was still a great neighbor but the rent was too high and it wasn't in the best shape and the landlord did as little as he possibly could to fix or update anything. There was only one reason he had stayed there.

The last five years had been tough for him; Sam often asked about the guy who had obviously screwed him over but Steve remained tight-lipped and shut down whenever Bucky was mentioned even though he'd never even told Sam his name or what had happened. As far as Sam knew, whoever the guy was, he had dumped Steve and moved away and Steve had been unable and unwilling to connect with anyone else since.

"Whatever you say, man," Sam said wearily, throwing the towel in earlier on the apartment conversation than he usually did. He stepped in front of Steve and took the book he'd been looking at from his hands, making Steve pay full attention to him. "You can't go on like this, Steve. It's been too long."

Steve just swallowed and looked down. "I think I could go for some Japanese for lunch."

Sam sighed and shoved the book back into Steve's hands. "Sure thing."

***

That Saturday evening, Steve finally made a start on putting together his new book cases. The old ones had finally given up the ghost, pretty much collapsing under the weight of Steve's books and he had invested in some new, sturdier ones. He wasn't all that great at D.I.Y but he had nothing better to do and it kept him busy and his mind off of...things. He was counting out the nails he would need to attach the backing board when the hairs on the back of his neck prickled and stood up. He sucked in a breath and froze. The air in the apartment had shifted slightly but he refused to turn around. He couldn't be disappointed again. He couldn't feel the hurt of looking and seeing nothing but his empty living room and -

"Steve?" The voice was soft and hesitant and Steve let out an involuntary whimper when he heard it.

He made himself turn around, still on the floor surrounded by planks of wood and nails. Bucky was there, standing exactly where he had been the night he had left. His hair was longer, almost to his shoulders and he looked so tired but it was _Bucky_. His face was worried but he also seemed like he was trying hard not to rush Steve and just grab him right there.

Steve stared, not willing to trust his brain after all this time, after having fantasized about this moment over and over. "It's not you. It can't be. I'm...you're just in my mind."

Bucky shook his head. "I'm not in your mind. I'm here."

Steve still didn't get up. "No. You're - "

Before he could say anything else, Bucky picked up a cushion from the small armchair by the coffee table and threw it. It hit Steve in the face with a "whoopf" and fell to the floor, scattering his carefully arranged nails. He looked at the cushion and then back up at Bucky as a nervous grin quirked his lips.

"It's me, you ass," he said and his voice wavered as he spoke, the grin less sure.

Steve scrambled to his feet and all but leapt across the room and into Bucky's arms, bursting into tears as he felt Bucky hold him back so tight it almost hurt.

"You're here," Steve sobbed. "You're really here."

Bucky stroked a hand through Steve's hair. "I told you I'd come back. I promised."

Steve pulled back, still clutching onto Bucky. "It's been five years. I thought...I thought..."

Bucky leaned in and kissed him and Steve finally felt whole again. He wasn't sure how long they stood there but he didn't want to stop; Bucky was _here_ and Steve wanted to keep tasting him and feel his hands on his hips as he pulled him closer, trying desperately to make up for the five years that they'd been apart. When they finally managed to stop, Bucky pressed his forehead to Steve's again, the way he had before he'd said goodbye without saying goodbye.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Steve..." Bucky said.

Steve hitched in a breath. "I didn't think I would ever see you again."

Bucky kissed him on the cheek. "I know. I'm so sorry. I had to be sure. I had to know that I could come back and it wouldn't mess things up."

Steve didn't want to hope. "What happened? Where were you?"

Bucky took Steve's hand and led him to the couch. They sat down and Bucky took a deep breath.

"I went to as many realities as I could. I stayed in each one for as long as possible to see if I would effect anything like I did here. Worked some jobs, was homeless for a while. Real glamorous ability I got going on."

Steve tucked Bucky's long hair behind one ear, noticing the dark circles under his eyes. Bucky looked at him and he smiled; it was pained but he raised a hand and stroked Steve's cheek. "God, I missed the color of your eyes."

Steve smiled back but then grasped Bucky's hand and squeezed. "Tell me the rest."

Bucky nodded and bit his lip and looked out of Steve's apartment window in the direction of the Brooklyn Bridge. "I side-stepped to thousands of realities when I left. Literally _thousands_. I can't even...begin to tell you. I saw so many New Yorks. So many versions of myself in every New York that had people. It was weird; I never actively wanted to look before because I was so scared of what I'd find. But I had to know what would happen if I stayed in any of the other realities...if anything would fall apart or change. I had to be sure."

"And?" Steve asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Bucky said and his voice was bewildered. " _Nothing_ happened. No lightning storms, no earthquakes. Nothing."

"I don't understand..." Steve said, his brow knitting in confusion.

"Neither did I. I was so fucking _angry_. Every other reality I stayed in, not a _fucking_ thing happened. Why did this one feel like it was going to fall apart if I stayed but not the thousands of others I went to? Why the only reality that had the _one_ thing in it that I would give all of them up for?"

"Buck..." Steve said softly.

"I would," Bucky was earnest when he spoke. "I did what I did for you; I hated myself for leaving you that night but I had to know that I wouldn't do something stupid like destroy the entire universe because I was being selfish. I went to so many realities but you know the one thing I could never find?"

"What?" Steve asked quietly.

"You. In all of the realities I went to, there wasn't a Steven Rogers in _any_ of them. And believe me, I looked. This is the only reality that you exist in."

Steve blinked and shook his head as he took that in. "What...what does that mean? That I'm supposed to be dead?"

Bucky took Steve's hands in his. "No. It means that there's _only one you_." He smiled softly. "You're special, Steve. You have no fucking idea."

"How is that possible?" Steve asked with a frown.

Bucky brushed his thumb across Steve's cheek again. Steve took his hand and held it to his face, still not quite able to believe that he was here and touching him.

"I don't know. But it got me thinking and...I discovered something else. This version of New York is the only reality where I _don't_ exist," Bucky said.

"I looked for you," Steve said and his heartbeat quickened. "I couldn't find you anywhere. It has to mean something, that you don't exist in the only reality that I do."

Bucky swallowed. "Yeah, I had a theory about that. The storms and the tremors that started before I left. Maybe it wasn't the threads of reality pulling apart like I initially thought."

Steve squeezed Bucky's hands. "Then...what was it?"

"Maybe it was the threads of reality _adjusting_. Maybe I'm meant to stay here. With you. Maybe this is where I really belong." Bucky looked scared and excited and hopeful all at the same time.

"How...how can we know that, though? How can we know for sure without something bad happening? Why wouldn't something bad happen in a reality where another you already existed? It doesn't make sense." He closed his eyes. "What if we're _not_ meant to exist in the same reality together?" Steve wanted more than anything to be wrong.

"Do you really believe that?" Bucky asked.

Steve thought for a moment. Being with Bucky felt right. Nothing in his life had ever felt like it was meant to be as much as this. "No," Steve said finally. "But... _if_ we're wrong..."

Bucky heaved out a big sigh and was about to say something else when it happened again: Steve's living room light started to flicker and was followed by a huge flash of purple lightning that pulsed outside. "It's happening a lot sooner this time," he said and looked at Steve. "I think I'm right about this. I'm sure."

Steve winced as another fork split the sky. "How sure? Give me a percentage."

Bucky's eyes were wide. "97%."

A tremor rumbled through the building and they both squirmed a little on the couch.

"Um, 96% sure," Bucky said and gave Steve a terrified smile.

Steve shook his head violently. "Don't joke about this! We could end up destroying the entire universe just because we want to boink."

Bucky laughed and it was slightly manic. "I can't believe you used the word "boink" at a time like this."

A bigger tremor shook the building, lasting longer than the one before. Bucky turned to Steve, his eyes wild and frantic. "We have to make a decision. Do I stay?"

Steve couldn't believe that he was actually in this position. "I don't...fuck, I don't know. I don't want to be the reason that the universe implodes in on itself."

"Do you love me?" Bucky asked and grabbed Steve by the shoulders, his face inches from Steve's.

"More than anything," Steve said and it was worth saying that to see the smile on Bucky's face, even if there was a chance that they could cease to exist at any minute along with everything else.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes." Steve's voice didn't waver.

A clap of thunder echoed outside followed by a bigger purple flash but Bucky didn't falter, his eyes still on Steve's. "I don't think it was an accident when I met you on the bridge that day. It can't be. I think I was _meant_ to find you; the only you that exists anywhere in this entire stupid universe. There's nothing for me in any other reality, Steve. Everything I want is right here."

Steve smiled and grabbed the back of Bucky's neck, pulling him in and kissing him hard. Outside, the sky looked and sounded like it was trying to tear itself apart. The building shook with another quake and Steve gave Bucky one last kiss.

"Whatever happens, I love you. But if the universe ends, it's your fault."

Bucky laughed as things started to fall to the floor in the kitchen and smash. "It won't. I just know it."

The light bulb exploded above them and they cried out in fear as the building shook, almost swaying on it's foundations. They held each other tightly and the air around them seemed to build in pressure.

"Buck..." Steve said, clinging to him tightly. "I'm scared."

Bucky held him. "We'll be okay, everything will be okay..." he chanted over and over but he sounded less sure now, his voice drowned out by the cacophony around them.

"We'll be okay," Steve heard Bucky say one more time before the universe decided.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

"So how did you guys meet exactly?" Clint asked.

They were standing on the roof of Clint's apartment building at one of his infamous barbeques, at least according to Sam they were infamous. He had dragged Steve and Bucky along with him and they were actually having a nice time. It had taken Sam a little while to warm up to Bucky, knowing him only as The Guy Who Fucked Up Steve For A While, which wasn't entirely fair, but they could never tell him the truth.

It was a gorgeous June evening, warm and pleasant. There were around twenty people at the barbeque and Bucky had his arm wrapped around Steve's waist as he took a swig from his bottle of beer.

"We bumped into each other on the Brooklyn Bridge. Just hit it off." Steve smiled at Bucky and he grinned back.

"Like, _literally_ bumped into each other or figuratively?" Clint said.

"Figuratively," they both answered together.

Clint snickered. "Nice. Where are you from, Bucky? Sam said you lived a ways away before you moved here."

"Saskatchewan," Bucky said and tightened his hand on Steve's waist.

Clint raised his eyebrows. "Saskatoon?"

"Uh, no. Green Lake. It's pretty far up. Not an easy place to maintain a long distance relationship between New York."

Clint nodded. "Cool. I have to say, you don't sound very Canadian."

"I lived in Indiana until I was thirteen, then we moved up north," Bucky said smoothly. They had spent a lot of time on Bucky's new back story. The truth was just too crazy and Bucky could no longer move between realities; his ability had left him the night the universe had altered and he was effectively now stranded here. He didn't see it as being stranded though.

"But now you can't go home," Steve had said when the storm and earthquakes had finally stopped and they had looked around at Steve's now very trashed apartment.

Bucky had just smiled. "I am home."

Clint clinked his beer bottle against Bucky's and then Steve's. "Welcome to New York, Bucky." He left them to go and check on the burgers.

Bucky took Steve's hand and dragged him to the edge of the roof. "Come and watch the sunset with me," he said with a grin. They stared as the sun slowly dipped below the horizon, stars beginning to appear in the deep blue of the evening sky.

"Do you think we'll ever understand any of this?" Steve asked Bucky. "Why this all happened?"

"Probably not," Bucky said. "All I know is that I'm here with you and I'm very happy." He kissed Steve softly.

"I'm pretty sure that out of all of the Bucky Barnes that exist somewhere in all of those realities, I got the best one," Steve said as he rested his head against Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky laughed. "We'll never know now."

Steve smiled. "Good."

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> A gift fic for asgardianette because I've been promising one for ages *gets down on one knee and presents on a red velvet cushion*
> 
> This track [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLRNGwXf9mg) kind of became the theme to this fic :P
> 
> The amazing pium-poetam drew a section of my fic Coffee, Trapper Hats and Chocolate Wasabi Fudge Cake as a comic and it is absolutely stunning. Please check it out [here](http://pium-poetam.tumblr.com/post/125424631222/a-small-scene-from-coffee-trapper-hats-and#notes) and also take a look at their fantastic comic for Junk In The Trunk :D


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